Overthinking will make you a better person

And this is how.

The woman on the stage of Beyonce’s show is not Beyonce. It’s Sasha Fierce.
Over the years, Beyonce has established a persona for herself to step into to be the courageous and confident performer that she is.

Why? Because overthinking can get the best of us.

Understanding Overthinking

Your brain works on the “use it or lose it” policy. The more you practice something, the more habitual it becomes.

Imagine that overthinking is like having a playlist of worries that your brain collected over the years. Now, when you’re about to encounter a situation that resembles an experience from the past that ended badly, your mind starts running the playlist on repeat.
This playlist covers everything from past regrets and disappointments to future anxieties.

See, your brain will do anything to make you avoid hurting yourself. And it learns.
For example, we all avoid reading physical books because, obviously, we’re scared of paper cuts. That’s why Amazon invented the Kindle!
It happened to us once and since then, the brain decided to do anything it can to make you avoid it.

Why is this encouraging?

Because this playlist can contain any type of music. It’s not bound to worries and anxieties.
Imagine that instead of remembering those past experiences as bad, you reframe them and all those to come as good and as a learning chance, for example. You build up a completely new playlist. And this time, it’s a helpful one.

Orel, I tried it. It doesn’t work.

I can definitely relate. But if we take a moment to think about it, your negative brain has years of experience over your new positive brain.
It has curated a playlist that covers almost any scenario you can encounter. It will take some time to overwrite those with new ones.

So how can I start working on it?

Let’s examine 3 simple strategies to build up a new playlist!

Strategy #1: The Power of Three Questions

I used to overthink every video I made on YouTube.
”What would the people around me think? am I making a fool of myself?”

And this is what I asked myself:

1. Is it true?
   Maybe, but it doesn’t matter. I want to share my knowledge and increase my exposure and network. I have my why and what others think about it can only help me grow and learn.

2. Is it helpful?
   Not at all. It discourages me and prevents me from getting out of my comfort zone. I also want to reach as many people as possible, and this is not helping.

3. Is it kind?
   This is bad criticism. A better and more kind question would be: “Why do I feel like I am making a fool of myself?”

These questions can help you reframe the way you think about your thoughts and understand whether they are relevant and helpful or are just bad habits from the past.

Strategy #2: Embrace the Awkward

In order to get the positive playlist ready faster, you need more experiences to retrain the brain.
Putting yourself in situations where you know you are going to feel anxious or cringe can help you reframe these situations. Since you go in, knowing what’s going to happen and how you’re going to feel, you can prepare ahead of time and change your thoughts as you go.

Sara Blakely, the founder of Spanx, said that to overcome her overthinking and awkwardness when talking to people, she used to get into full elevators and start singing.
She also did a few stand-up comedies.

I wasn’t brave enough to try that at the beginning. I started by greeting people as they left the elevator. It can be actually funny at times. Some people are so surprised that they turn around and point at themselves “Me?”. Most respond and some ignore it completely.
Try that yourself and let me know how it went! :)

Strategy #3: Create a Safe Environment

In a research study conducted by PubMed, over 100 adults diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) were gradually exposed to anxiety-provoking situations in a controlled laboratory setting. The researchers helped them reframe the situations, and by the end of the study, the results showed that 54% of the participants no longer met the diagnostic criteria for SAD.

By gradually exposing yourself to anxious situations, the brain learns to reevaluate the “perceived threat” and make itself more familiar and comfortable with it.

You can do the same. Gather a group of trusted friends or family members and put yourselves in awkward situations that would put you in anxiety. Gradually work on how to resolve them by figuring out your overthinking thoughts and running the 3 questions on them.

I started my elevator-greeting journey with a friend, so he knows how I feel and we can share feelings and thoughts afterward.
By now, I do it all by myself without a shred of awkwardness!

Bonus Strategy: Your Inner Superhero

Remember Sasha Fierce? Well, you can create your own alter ego as well to boost your confidence in challenging situations. You can also have objects with “special attributes” or special clothing items that you use only for specific occasions.

Transforming Overthinking

Remember, changing deeply ingrained habits takes time and patience. The journey to change the playlist is hard and long. But with each step, you will feel more at ease and comfortable in different situations.